Category: Let's talk
Okay, so the topic title may sound a little unclear, and maybe even cheesy. What I mean is moments that brighten your day--put a smile on your face; the moments contrary to the many people who jump over your cane, grab your cane when trying to guide you, and the people who sit in the hallway, see you coming, but say nothing. I'll give some examples of mine.
Only a few times, I have been walking down the hall and a guy will say, "Watch out." or "There's a desk right here." I am sure to thank that person. I greatly appreciate that because most people sit there quietly, then laugh when you trip or hit them with your cane, or something to that effect.
Another time, I was walking down a hall toward a set of doors, and encountered a woman at the doors. She asked me: "May I open the door for you?" And I permitted her to do so. I like this because sometimes, people will open the door for me and not let me know so I don't walk through that door or I might go behind it or hit the person with my cane.
Another time, I was trailing a bank of lockers to find a classroom, and a kid asked me if I needed any help. I said no. I like when people do this because it lets me know that there are people looking out for me, and too, people who do this are not forcing help upon me and robbing me of my independence.
So what are some of your moments?
My friend M from middle and high school who was in a few of my classes and would help me out sometimes said she wanted to learn Braille. So I tought her. I used to have a Braille Lite and we would write notes back and forth to each other. I think it was really cool that she took an interest in the way I used to read and write and she always treated me like any of her other friends, even though I couldn't see very well. We lost contact for a few years, but we found each other again on Facebook! She told me she still has the paper where she wrote down which dots to write the Braille letters and numbers. *Smiles*
THIS IS AN INTERESTING TOPIC< AND I was ready not to post, but after looking at the first two, I had to add something. About 20 years ago when I bought my first high-end music synthesizer, the salesman was showing me the instrument. Rather than use the words "Over there" or firmly planting my hand on the button, he said, "Now, if you reach over the top of the synth and look on the back pannel near the right hand corner, you will find the power button. Right next to it is the AC chord." I was so surprised to find someone who I never met giving really good verbal descriptions.
Lou
On Sunday night, my fiance and I were getting groceries on a very busy night, and one of the ladies that worked at the customer service desk helped us bag our groceries, quickly grabbed the few we forgot, and made sure that our cab was going to take us to the right place.
It is cool to see a possitive topic again on this. *smile* I can think of several possitive moments also:
* I like when a sighted person is interested in learning Braille to the point that they actually use and/or remember it. Like my oldest nephew wanted to learn it to play cards in the dark, and so I taught him what the Uno and playing cards said, and it was his idea one day for us to go to a dark place and cover his eyes so we could play Uno. Although he would guess and then ask me to be sure what the cards said, I thought it was cool that he not only learned the Braille but wanted to put it to use. Another time this happened was when my uncle was away from town and I received a letter he had made in Braille. (I say "made" because I don't think he wrote it with a Braille-writing device.) I thought that was cool though. *smile*
* I also like when someone is interested in learning how my screen-reader works or how I do things. When my sister used to borrow my computer or help me do something on it, instead of turning off JAWS, she wanted to learn how to navigate with it and use forms mode. Most sighted people would rather just turn it off, but I thought it was cool that she was interested in working with it instead of thinking of it as being in the way. Also one of my brothers has tried walking around with his eyes closed and using sighted guide; both times were at school. I know he had his eyes closed because when the floor/ground would become uneven like with ramps, steps, bumps, or curbs he'd get nervous and so he'd want me to tell him when we'd get to them.
* I also like when a random person cares about something being accessible. This one time was somewhat sad, but still something I appreciate. I was touching around an emergency wall phone at school and noticed that this one didn't have a Braille sign like most of the other ones did. Mom said that after I had touched it, this guy saw and had touched around the phone also and looked sad. I thought it was nice that someone who could've just ignored what I was doing actually cared about it. I've also had once when Mom and I went to Sonic, and a girl that brought our food used those bumps on the tops of the cups (the ones that you press down to indicate if the drink is "diet", "other", and whatever the other bumps are for). I forgot what I had gotten, but she had pushed down the bump that matched with it. I've never had that happen before. I mean most people probably don't think of those bumps as anything, but the fact that she considered it as something that would be helpful to me was nice. I also love finding things at any local store that has Braille on it. There are pill boxes and magnets with Braille, but I also found one baby toy like that, and some boxes of microwave lasagna that said the kind it was and a phone number and the instructions on how to make it.
I love meeting sighted people who know how to give sighted guide; you just don't know! I went with my friend, who had a guide dog, into a restaurant one day and before we were properly in the door, the guy at the counter was telling us that dogs weren't allowed. The people sitting there told him that it was ok because its a service animal so we didn't have to. This was actually the second time I went in there with a friend who had a guide dog, and it was after I found out it was illegal to not serve us, so I was glad those other sighted people in there were knowledgeable and cool enough to get involved, cause if they didn't, I was gonna give them a peace of my mind, after ordering a piece of chicken of course. God what a long ass sentense!
Wow. This is a great topic.
Just a few weeks ago I got a package from my mum. I live in the UK and they live in Germany and I got that package for my birthday. I was surprised to fid a birthday card in braille with the little gift ... I never thought mum still new braille. And it really touched me that she made this effort.
Also last Thursday I sat here in College in the cafe with my laptop, and suddenly had to run to the loo. On the table next to mine there were people sitting and talking about catering in the restaurant upstairs. I asked them if they could look that nobody would steal my laptop while I was on the loo cause I had no time to pack it up since I had to hurry. The lady called me "Very wise". When I came back from the toilet, they actually sat at the table where I sat, just to guard my netbook.
I also love it when I come into a totally full bus, the bus driver starts and when I stumble a bit, people help me to somewhere I grab on to, or even a seat.
I am actually surprised what you are telling me about people laughing about me. I think the fact that I have a little bit of site prevents me from hitting people or do other things that might make them laugh, so I have not encountered that at all. I think there are more friendly people around us than we know.
One more thing I love: I am in college and they have a disability support team. And they are just awesome. They are not specially trained for blind people. In fact they have more experiences with wheelchair users or mentally disabled people. And yet they do it relaly well. They scan my material for me and put it into a word document, asking me exactly how I need it and if I'm content with the way they do it. I actually almost talk to them as with friends.
I was prepared not to post to this either when I first saw it's topic title, but after reading the answers, I have a few things.
The first two involve Braille. When I was really young, my mom had not begun working yet. She learned braille with me, so she could help me read at home. She also Brailled several of my games herself, because they either didn't come in a Braille version, or we didn't know a Braille version existed. I still have the Candy Land game she Brailled for me by hand, using pieces of felt to represent the graphics on the board. I've used it to play Candy Land with my nieces who are little.
A close friend of mine wanted to learn Braille while we were growing up. So I taught her, and we used it to pass notes in class. She wrote stories and journal entries in Braille that she wanted to share only with me, and they were some of her most personal writings. I was honored by that. Sometimes she'd write things in Braille that she wanted to share with no one at all. She liked it because she knew I wouldn't pry, and the chance of anyone else getting a hold of it who could actually read it were slim to none.
And, it's always nice to meet sighted friends who treat me like an equal. Sometimes I get jaded and angry with sighted people, feeling like all I ever do is educate them, and all they ever want to talk about is my blindness and how I do things. But I have some very dear friends for whom my blindness isn't even an issue. They treat me as an equal, and I appreciate that more than I think they realize, even though I've told them so.
There was one time when I was in high school, and I was walking to one of my classes. The hallways were a complete mess because of some function that was taking place that night; there were tables and chairs stacked against walls and in the middle of the hallways. I hit several of them with my cane, and then this guy took my arm and guided me through the maze to my next class. I didn't know him, but then later that day everyone I knew approached me and told me how the guy was supposedly one of the meanest, roughest guys in the school and how everyone was intimidated by him or afraid of him. It made me realize that, deep down, he couldnt' be all that bad if he was willing to guide a blind person to their next class.
One of my middle school teachers, seeing that a lot of people in my class were interested in braille, and asked a lot of questions about how I do things, she organized a whole afternoon dedicated to it. People walked around the classroom with blindfolds on, people got to try out my brailler, and at one point, she blindfolded everyone and taught a lesson strictly by sound.
Wow.
I remember in the discipleship school that I intended. It was great because they treated me as an equal. They all got blindfolded at one point and had to make their way to the basement ... the only person who had some sight that time was me! It was really funny.
Also the kids we ministered to seemed to respect me more. They were generally a bit rude, they were kids with parents who drunk, took drugs or just didn't seem to care. They were quite noisy kids but they seemed to have a sudden respect for me when I stepped forward and taught them something. It was quite touching actually.
I was hesitant to reply to this myself. However, something happened a couple days ago that I thought was post-worthy. My great grandmother passed away on Thursday, and my grandmother had two readings from the Bible, to be read at the funeral. One of my cousins was to read one, and somebody else was supposed to read the other, but they couldn't think of another person. So my grandmother asked me if I wanted to do it, and I said, "If you can get it to me in a format I can read, then I will do it." Now, my grandmother is very technologically impaired. But she sat with me for half an hour typing out this verse, learning how to attach a file to an email, reading various elements of her screen to me because I'm not familiar with the way comcast's thinggy is set up, and just acting like this was totally not a huge deal to her. My mom, on the other hand, would've gotten frustrated with it, and just said "you're not doing this, I'll get somebody else to do it, or you can do it from memory." But my grandmother got it to me as if it were the most normal thing in the world for her to send attachments through email, and without complaining or bitching about how hard this was, how much of a pain in the ass it was to put it in a format I could read, etc etc. Also, when my cousin's girlfriend, who has never guided a blind person before, guided me out of the church since my mom was a pallbearer, and there was noone else handy to do it. She tried to do the whole behind-the-arm-grabby thing, but I quickly evaded and corrected the maneuver so it looked more presentable, and she didn't even freak out about it. She was just like "oh, I've never done this before, oops, sorry," and that was fine with me, because it was a teachable moment, and she was willing to learn how to do it properly.
When I was in college, I was getting ready to student teach. My cooperating teacher had never worked with a person who was blind. The first day I met him, he presented me with a tactile layout of the school. He particularly marked the music room where I was going to spend my time, mensrooms, and exits.
Lou
I'm sure there've been plenty, but here's one to start: there was a bus driver filling in for the regular one, and he wanted me to sign a piece of paper (in print, of course) stating that I understood what the rules were. I refused to sign it, as it wasn't in a format accessible to me, and told him he needed to figure out a way to get it to me. the next day he asked me for the school for the blind's fax number, and they brailled it.
On my seventeenth birthday, my parents got me a braille birthday card, and so did my aid that works with me at school. I was very touched by the one from my aid just because it was very unexpected. The one from my parents was also unexpected because for my previous birthdays, they got me print birthday cards. I was very surprised last year.
Also, my most favorite moment was when I was sitting in economics class before we were about to take notes from a movie. One of my few friends in the class suddenly yells across the room: "Hey Raven! Do you have a pencil I can borrow?" If that wasn't unexpected, I don't know what was! I was quite shocked, but I told him that he had to come grab it from me. At that time, I carried pencils and pens on me for the poor sighted folk who couldn't nab a utencil from a friend or neighbor. I've lent utencils out to various people, but he was the only person who ever asked me for one like I was one of his sighted peers. That one question made me feel extra special.
When I was in my last year of high school, I took on a volunteer position at an elementary school in the music department helping students learn keyboards, and the words to songs. Well, on the first day of my position, the teacher handed all the music to my braillist, who in turn had it brailled for me by the next day. Just the fact that the teacher at this school was willing to work with me to make things as accessible as possible without giving the impression like it was kind of an annoyance was really comforting for me. I really felt welcome for who I was as a person, and not because of the fact that I was blind. I think I got about forty hugs from the kids at the end of my last day.
when the kindergarten teacher at my brother's school asked me if I wanted to volunteer once a week, that was really special cause I felt like she was treating me as an equal.
I've never thought of all the times that people have been kind enough to help me as bright blind moments. This may shock some of you, especially those who think all sighted people are against us, but sighted people regularly offer to help me, even when I don't need their help. I appreciate all the offers to help me, even when I don't need it. I would rather that people offer me help when I don't need it, than people refuse me help when I do need it.
If sighted people don't know how to acomodate me because they have little or no experience of blind people, I politely explain my needs to them, and propose simple solutions to problems which they usaccept. In fact, sighted people have never refused to meet my needs. I'm not saying that is everybody's experience, because I know it isn't. However, it is my experience.
hmmm, i don't like "blind life" as a description of this, i'd much rather think of it as just life, but each to their own, i guess. i used to work with a guy who one day just asked me if i could teach him just the basics of braille, because i have a braille chart at work to tell me what numbers certain things are under so i can lable things correctly. i have a 7 year old niece who, up until reasontly, used to want to guide me when we were out shopping, (granted she's to little for proper sighted guide), but i got a minny guide, and now she doesn't do it, (wich she doesn't like). however, if she sees me coming, she'll guide me through doors and around furniture, wich i think is really cute. sometimes when i'm waiting for my ride outside work, someone will come up to me and offer help, but i just politely say no thank you, because i don't need it at that time. i think it's nice of people to offer help rather than just forcing it on me.
Waye, I totally agree. I have never had problems with finding sighted people who helped me. And I agree: Many people offer help, and when I don't need it, I politely say no thank you.
To the last poster: Yes, it's awkward when they just grab your arm and guide you anyways even if you said you don't need help. I have had this happen to me, especially with foreigners. Not that I'm against foreigners. Heck, I'm one myself in the UK. Lol. But those who don't know the language very well yet. They often don't understand my polite declining their help but still help me, which is then very awkward because I don't want to seem rude or impolite.
anytime people ask me if I need help rather than just grabbing me makes me happy.
I can guess that many blind people are often offered help. But what makes the moment bright is the way in which help is offered.
yeah, you're right about that, Raven.